Bringing consciousness to the erotic is a delicious and meaningful way to embody your humanity and awaken your divinity.
The taboo is taboo because it’s so powerful.
There is a portal of magic between your legs, yet that’s not what most of us were conditioned to believe. We are born into a collective agreement field of obedience and repression that creates the illusion we live in. Some listen to the call to go off the beaten path on an exhilarating discovery of the truth, which leads them to this temple.
Every woman I’ve welcomed through the door of this temple is a thread that weaves together a great tapestry of the feminine.
This is a piece of my thread.
I was 19, sitting at a train station with three suitcases, and I almost abandoned my plan to move from Montana to California because I was terrified to leave the comfort of the small town mindset I had grown up in.
As I was drowning in my doubt, the Goddess erupted like a volcano, her presence flooding my whole body as she whispered, “You know you have to go.” Her words woke me up for a moment – I saw through the matrix – I realized I had been living a life that was not my own. I’d been operating from a script I didn’t write in a movie I no longer wanted to be in.
I had been living on auto-pilot, asleep at the wheel. It was time for that to change.
The more I left the old story behind, the more pleasure, freedom and amazement I felt. It was like meeting myself outside of who they thought I should be for the first time.
I took the fast track to sexual liberation. I went allllll the way. Next thing I knew, I was sitting on a red velvet couch in sexy lingerie surrounded by champagne and billionaires. Perhaps once again the Goddess paid me a visit. I'll never know what inspired the epiphany in that moment, but nonetheless I realized...I was in another dream. Still a slave, but to the opposite end of the matrix.
As a top 1% earner in Vegas at the biggest gentlemen’s club in North America I had officially reached the top of the bottom. Something in me had to journey all the way from small town Montana directly into the hedonistic underbelly of sexuality in our culture. I swung from strict obedience and repression to empty-feeling performance, over-indulgence and dissociated party culture. Having earned a masters degree in wielding feminine power and erotic energy, it was time to graduate. I shattered into another dimension of lucidity: it was time to release this story, and step out of yet another paradigm.
This was the initiation into mature adulthood, beginning with the chapter of my life I named, “the dark night — or years — of the soul”. I followed the call to excavate and integrate my deepest, ugliest shadows. Through unraveling my patterns of manipulation, validation-seeking and pimping out my feminine energy, I was able to experience the power and innocence of erotic energy – free of distortion.
This is the shit nobody talks about. This is the unglamorous crucible that everyone forgets to mention in commercialized Goddess culture or analytical academia research. Going through this chapter was a death of the ego and a rebirth into something so unrecognizable, yet so authentically me, that I was surprised to find myself even more fully alive on the other side of the experience.
Right in the middle of this crucible, something synchronistic and entirely unanticipated happened... I received an invitation to an unconventional intensive study and practice group of initiates with a new mentor.
This mentorship turned into an immersive seven year deep dive. We studied Jungian shadow work, somatic and transpersonal psychology and Hermetic universal law. We explored mystery school lineages, how to embody the quantum field and the primordial current of life force arising from the void. It was the kind of multi-dimensional, edge pushing, initiatory work I could not have received from a traditional university.
In this intensive dojo, through thousands of hours of group work, I refined and harnessed the gifts I had been unknowingly cultivating for my whole life. And much of it happened in direct experience of the unexplainable, seemingly impossible tasting of the mystery.
Being willing to bow to the mystery challenged the limited world view my mind had about what was possible. I had the embodied experience of universal truth, that magic is indeed reaI. Though this dedicated practice, I learned how to embody the pure, undistorted frequency of erotic energy and the primordial life force current to create instantaneous healing and awakening.
I serve those who are ready to transmute their shadow into power and transcend the illusion of the matrix so that they can embody the fullest expression of their delicious, divine humanity.